What if…. what if playing horn or music was like…. college football?

•We would have beautiful, spacious facilities. Trainers to keep us in shape. Masseurs/masseuses, physical therapists, Alexander techniquers to keep us fit and functioning.

•Horn teachers would be the highest paid state employees. They would have assistants – specialists – to coach and train high range, low range, transposition, wide slurs, scales, and so on. There would be special recruiting staff scouring the hinterlands for young talent.

•There would be a couple dozen full scholarships for the players.

•We would get new uniforms every year (tux, tails, et al.).

•70,000 people would watch each weekly concert in the …large… concert hall. Many thousands more would tune in on TV and radio.

•Announcers would deliver play-by-plays to home viewing/listening audiences (perhaps something on the order of what Peter Schickele did on one of the PDQ Bach records). There would be a “color” man to add colorful trivia and statistics to the commentary (“Well, Mel, he only got 99% of the notes last concert, and the coach may bench him if he doesn’t get his average up to about 99.95% soon. Remember what happened to Koczynski in ’03!).

•Top college stars would be snapped up in the annual Spring Music Performer Draft

•Every bit of the latest technology, medical advances, etc. would be used to enhance performance.

•Amateurs would put together Fantasy Orchestra Leagues. Two types: 1) current players and 2) all-time greats

I’ll continue adding to this big of Fantasy Music-ball. Feel free to join the fun and add your speculations to this playful analogy.orch

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